Never. Ever. Give Up

That I am up and posting is one thing. That I am up and posting off-topic is quite another.

Bookandbed went to bed full of toil and – if I’m honest – despair. I won’t rehash why. You don’t read bookandbed to hear of more soul-crunching grind. Firstly you probably don’t read bookandbed at all in which case, you definitely aren’t interested. Secondly, if your glance does flit over this way, you probably have enough of your own kids playing up when you’re trying to get Very Important Stuff done for the next day and ploughing through dispiriting working relationships without reading all about mine, thanks very much.

But I hope you will want to hear this. Because is the stuff of legend. The stuff that inspires all of our lives. The fabric of life. The stuff that keeps us toiling and fighting and believing.

I was rudely awoken this morning at 330am by the same MonkeyFace who would NOT go to bed last night and who was still playing boo by the kitchen bin at TEN FIFTEEN. There, I put it in caps, so you don’t have to.

I looked at the time on my phone (I dont have an alarm clock as it’s just something to watch tick round on those ego-blistering Insomniac Nights of Doom) to see there was also a text from some friends I won’t name. I posted about them a few days ago, when I had heard news from them that plunged my heart in iced-water. Fortunately, my darling friend is not great with detail or time (like me in fact) and she was sliiiightly early in taking her latest of many and possibly last pregnancy test a few days ago for it to turn up NuhUH. That she faced this without drama, with stoicism and a shrug and headed to the bext cocktail bar, having sensibly thought “my chances aren’t great, let’s go on holiday and wait rather than sit around here in the rain” tells you everything about this amazing person. She’s no martyr, squeezes every inch out of life with grace and dignity and tons of laughter. Bad things have happened in her life, this is true, but by the essence of her nature, they don’t happen TO her. She is the most perfect living example of lack of ego, sense of self, joie de vivre and good nature you will ever meet. She is one of two of MFs godparents. She is the textbook on how I believe you should live your life. If you believe that positive people are luckier, then she is your Poster Girl because my fabulous friend is not tossed around by the storms of life, but sails them. I, on the contrary, am holding onto the sail for dear life, being flipped about in the maestrom like a cowboy at a rodeo. No grace, darlings.

On 11/11/11, she has discovered she was three days early in ascertaining whether or not she was pregnant and after the sadness of 3 day ago, I read this morning that she is in fact in the earliest throes of pregnancy. Truly, a miracle on this Miracle Day. I am overjoyed. It’s like Christmas here. I woke my husband in tears (he’ll be pleased later, I promise) and now I am up making Horlicks, writing and getting carried away and waiting for the house to stir. That this has happened makes me happy because it shores up my personal belief that Good Things Happen. Whatever else happens today, nothing can dampen my happiness for her. As we of course don’t know who will arrive in 9 months’ time, the prayer I read my daughter will just have to do for my friend, the MotherShip:

“Ladies of Light and Ladies of darkness and ladies of never you mind

This is a prayer for a blueberry girl

First may you ladies be kind” 

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